I don't know what the hell I'm doing...?

Question

As stated above, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
To be more specific, I don't know what I'm doing with my life and I have no one to ask for help.

I graduated high school about 6 months ago with a about a 2.7 GPA, no Honors or AP courses, no extracurricular, I didn't take the ACT or SAT, and I didn't apply to any schools.

You see, I'm a very indecisive person. I have a hard enough time deciding what I should have for breakfast, and trying to decide the next part of my life all during the 2nd half of my senior year didn't work out too well. I'm also very lazy...

I've never really had a passion or any strong interests in anything, I just thought I'd work hard my senior year and I'd have an epiphany of what I wanted do after high school. It didn't happen that way, Instead I did the bare minimum for most of my classes and there was no sudden realization of what I needed to do. Sometimes I wish that my excuse for my failure was that I was distracted by my social life or I partied too much, but truth is, I never had a social life and I've never even been to a party. I'm just... dumb I guess.

I think there's a lot reasons as to why I didn't do so well academically and why I'm in the position I'm in, but I don't think there's room for a long psychoanalysis since I've already typed too much. After graduation I indecisively decided(If that makes sense) I definitely needed a higher education, so I applied to my local community college and maybe If I worked hard enough I could transfer to a university of my choice. I tried my best for about a month but slipped right back into my old habits when I lost motivation for what I was doing, but I didn't actually know what I was doing, which is the problem. I didn't know what I wanted to major in and I still don't know. Was I really taking those classes because I wanted to? Or was I there because through out high school I was constantly reminded about the importance of a higher education?

My first semester of college ended rather quickly, I did terrible, and I don't know what to do next. I decided not to attend next semester because I couldn't decide which classes to take, but I still want to go back when I feel that I'm ready, can I do that? Or did I mess up completely? I want to try again, but first I want to get a job for a few months and I'm still hoping for that epiphany, but its probably not gonna happen.
Any advice for someone lost in the transition towards adulthood?

Answer 1

Perhaps this is a good time to join a Zen Buddhist monastery. You obviously need the simplicity and the structure, and the time to 'find yourself'.

You will be fed and clothed and housed, so you'll have no bills. You will do the work assigned, happily, gratefully, and practice the practice!

Epiphanies will come aplenty! *__-



And for about the past century, I don't know what the hell I'm doing, either!

We fake it and we fake it (and get better at faking it), and we 'make believe', not until we make it, but until we die!



Or throw a backpack on your back and start walking!

Come back in six months.

Or a year!

You need some peace and space.

One way or another, find it. *__-

Answer 2

(1) Been there, done that. Some people don't "discover themselves" for many years after high school or college. Stop comparing yourself to your peers and you will be much happier.



(2) You cannot develop a passion for something if you don't know what is really out there in the world and haven't experienced much in your life. It is a fascinating, incredibly diverse planet. Open your eyes. Get curious and start seeing the possibilities. The internet makes it much easier to explore the possibilities than in "my day" when we had maybe two TV channels, and libraries or encyclopedias to discover the world through. However, there's no substitute for experiencing the world directly, instead of through the media.



(3) As for college, the first 2 years of any program of study pretty much requires the same basic courses. A science-related curriculum of course requires more maths and sciences while arts / humanities / business curricula focus more on non-science subjects. Get the basic stuff out of the way in community college and in the mean time think about wht you might want to major in during your 2nd two years if you go that route.



(4) If you cannot find positive motivation, than try some negative motivation. Set your mind on how hard life will be if you don't have a decent education or haven't learned a viable skill. One way to do that is go live life for awhile on your own and see how tough it is to get by on an unskilled, low wage job and learn how tough it is to get ahead without education or specialized skills. The problem with that approach is that you will be wasting an opportunity to have a more or less free ride at home while you finish your studies,. It's a lot harder to get thru college or other type of training course later on where you don't have the luxury of parents to lean on for financial support. I know this from personal experience. Maybe you need to learn the hard way. Many people do. I did.



(5) Don't bet on getting an epiphany any time soon. Success requires hard work, much of which can be drudgery if that is how you view it. No task is worth doing if you don't put your heart into it. Life does not get better in the future just because time passes, life gets better because you do what is required NOW. No one can cure your laziness and procrastination but you.



Good luck.

Answer 3

Take the Meyers Briggs test it shows you what careers would likely suite you. Also, take the "now discover your strengths" profile assestment. It shows you your top 5 dominant themes of talent which you have for life.



Also, know that your epiphany really is an illusion. However, IF YOU GET OUT THERE and explore you will come across things that spark your interest. The more you persue these interests & explore the closer you'll get to finding your epiphany. That is how it works, exploration & persuing whatever sparks your interest.



I think the #1 thing for you would be working on your deciciveness though. That indecicivenss will hold youo back forever and in every area of life. I promise you that.



3 times a day make a small decision 100% only for the reason to practice your ability to make decisions & take action. Don't decide to do something your already gonna do. Decide to do something ONLY for the reason of practicing making decisions. After 2 weeks make your decisions a lil bigger & a lil harder.



Your ability to make decisions is your ability to move forward through life. Every one makes wrong turns, everyone learns & grows from that but you wont move, learn or grow unless you practice that ability to move forward by making decisions. Good luck and don't forget, Einstein failed high school and his teacher said that he would never amount to anything. Later Einstein quoted, if you try to make a fish climb a tree that fish will think he is stupid.



It's all a matter of finding what your talents are & finding what careers offer activities that would draw from those talents.



The IQ test for instance only measures 2 kinds of inteligence. Most people are genius in more than 1 way although usually underused so they never really notice it. There are 11 kinds of inteligence.

Answer 4

There is a Hell. In it, one faces separation from God. Reminder: all are in the presence of God right now. Hell as a place of physical torment is, I believe, meant to give the reader a good idea of the level of emotional torment we will experience in Hell. The pain from burns is among the top ten of worst pains we can experience as human beings, so it seems to me to be an ideal metaphor for a place of torment. As far as who goes there, it's those who haven't accepted the sacrifice Jesus Christ made on the cross.

Answer 5

Hello Milo,



I could give you a very long list of what more I get out of my life, but you have to do some "soul searching" and decide what YOU want out of life.



Basically, if everyone believed that there is no point in life, we might have anarchy. People might freak-out and not care about anything, like whether or not they die today. They could do anything they wanted to with impunity because there would not be any ultimate price to pay. That would be a bad thing. That is why we still need religions.



But I am a convinced atheist, and I still believe there may be a point to our lives. I don't propose to know exactly what that point is, but I have many thoughts and theories.



Maybe the point in life for the majority of us is to simply carry on our species until the minority (the deeper thinkers, inventors, scientists, etc.) figure out what the ultimate point is. In my opinion the point to our existence is not spelled-out in the idéogrammes of the bible, quran , nor torah. We may simply be buying time for our kind.



Only you can decide what would make your life better. I am an old dude that has seen much. One of the best things in my life has been the continual improvement that I have been able to achieve. I have, get, and still need a lot of help. I used to be a very bad person. I am a better person now, and I know that I will be yet better in the future, whatever it may bring.



To have a better life, you have to set goals that are valuable, measurable, and achievable. The way to value these goals will depend on your personal life-long philosophy, which should and will, evolve as you grow as a person. For me it is to become a better human being and citizen of the world. Day by day. Year after year.



My personal philosophy is to be the best world citizen I can be, try to influence others to live the same way, and contribute to society in any way that I can. Not because I will be rewarded in the end. Not because some religion tells me that I must do so to avoid hell, But because it is the only thing that makes sense.



Start to develop your philosophy now and measure yourself against your old-self. Continuous improvement is the only way to a truly fulfilling life.



Here’s a few quotes I often plagiarize:



“Get busy living man, because we are all dying.”

“He not busy being born is busy dying”.

“Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.”

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

“Before you act, listen. Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you criticize, wait.”

“Good times last forever, and the bad times fade away”

“Before you quit, try, try, try.”

“Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.”

“We are not given a good life or a bad life. We are given a life. It’s up to you to make it good or bad.”



Let’s buy some more time, and give the poor bastards in the future a chance.



Love and peace to you.

Answer 6

When you get sick of working a bunch of crap jobs you'll get that epiphany. Travel. Best to get it out of the way first. Once (and if you're lucky enough) you're back in school, you'll have to take general classes anyway. Go for an associate of arts where you can basically study anything you want. Learn a language. You'll eventually choose a path, and knowing how many there were you could take.

Answer 7

I'm not sure I can give you any meaningful advice since everything you mention is YOUR OWN CHOICE. If you are waiting for a sudden bolt from the blue that will miraculously transform you into someone else, I'm afraid you're stuck where you are. It seems to me you have only two choices: stay where you are and have the life of a loser or choose a worthwhile goal and go for it.

Answer 8

First step. Stop taking this so hard. You are not stupid. That much is obvious. You are not a waste of space, as they said in my generation, because you are out here searching for an answer.



Second step. Try focusing on your personal positives. Write them out, give yourself plenty of time to come up with a sizable list. No time limits, here. Add to that list anytime you come up with a new positive.



Third step. Make another list of the things that you know you love. Things that make you happy. Things that bring you joy. Because the best career advice I ever got in my 49 years on this planet is....Do what you love, and then let the money follow.



Fourth step. Should you need more items on your prior list, to begin finding an actual career path, then please make the effort to try new things. Chances are that you have just not found what will motivate you at this point in life. When I first discovered writing as an emotional outlet, I wrote my fingers to mere nubs till I was free of all that negative baggage I was carrying around. And for a while, that was my thing. I've now got other interests, that will take me further down MY path. If you live inland, take a trip to the beach. If you are inner city, and know nothing of country life, try a little horticulture. Methinks you are young, and have been just trying to please everyone around you. And, as such, you have just not found that one thing just yet. It is a vast and crazy world, and you have some, yet, undiscovered passion just waiting for you to tumble onto it. EVERYONE has a purpose. You may not find yours for many years, like me (in my 40's I found my true calling). Others I know were made to be a mother, and so this also took many years to discover for them as well. So, stop thinking it needs to come to you in the next few hours, or there is nothing for you. Negativity will not help you, only hinder, further, your progress in life.



Fifth step. Gotta learn to love yourself, and all your imperfections.



Sixth step. Stay positive, and if you need help there, there is religion or therapy to help.



Eventually it will happen. One can not rush perfection, after all. Consider yourself A great unknown who is yet to be discovered by others. This is much much closer to the actual truth than you are likely to believe at this moment. But the most important thing is to keep your eyes and ears open, and try to stay as positive as you can manage moment to moment day to day.



(if you dislike or distrust Christianity, please try the SGI, a Buddhist (True Buddhism) organization that has it's own college. And it is a GREAT method for staying positive, or accomplishing anything else that you think at the moment is impossible.) That chant they teach you is a modern day miracle maker. It works for EVERYTHING that makes a person unhappy. Nam-Myoho-Rengay-Key-O. Long a in Nam. long o, twice in Myoho, Short e and long a in Rengay, long e in key, Long o at the end. To give you the literal translation would take thousands of thick volumes to explain in full, as this is Sanskrit, a language made up of several languages. In short it is just cause and effect. Positive attracts more of the same. Same is true for all things negative. If you WANT positives, chanting this phrase is like supercharging your life with POSITIVE energies, which bring about positive change in your life. If pronounced correctly, and done correctly, hands together in prayer fashion, repeat over and over again allow the rythem to relax you,focus your thinking on what concerns you, and if in about 20 minutes of chanting you do not feel better or have not gained some personal insight into what makes you so unhappy........ I will eat my leather hat. This sounds SO CRAZY. Yes I know how it sounds. But it works wonders. Folks have used it to kick bad drug habits. It has been used in emergency situations, and it works like a charm because you are SCARED at the moment, and a heartfelt prayer is the strongest prayer possible no matter what religion you practice. Ex: I was driving down a very busy road, at a rapid speed-to keep from being rolled over by the other nuts on the road. (Washington DC area.) My hairs stood up in alarm, I had a bad feeling that traffic was going to stop suddenly with a huge wreck, and me in it. I chanted, nothing on my mind but the fear and concern, and when I again looked up and around I was all alone, all the other cars were more safely spaced from one-another, no one was weaving in and out. The traffic had cleared, and with relief the fear was gone now, also. Mere seconds was all it took, that time to get the result I wanted. Other times I had to chant for months to see a wanted result, the raw emotion was the KEY. ; )

Answer 9

For you, there's the public service. Use your time in there to figure things out. And if you don't, you'll be paying the bills and will be looked after when you retire.

Answer 10

you can do whatever you want to do in life.

You don't have to have good grades

You don't have to decide

Your life will automatically come together anyway.

So relax, flip a coin....

Answer 11

sounds like mainstream society is getting you down friend. but don't fret, because there's a perfect opportunity for someone in your favourable position. the first manned (one way) missions to mars. dude, you should totes do it!

Answer 12

keep learning everyday every moment.. keep working and keep doing.. dont give up

Answer 13

Get saved

then

Pray and go to church God is your best guide