i have no connection with anyone feel detached from society and humans?

Question

i have been depressed for a long time about six years, im gonna be 22, i wanna keep this kind of simple and really just want to vent a little, i have absolutely no physical friends or relationships with humans outside of my mother and the internet, my mom tells me that i have no idea how anything in the world works, i sometimes think that people treat me as if im basically a leper or a drifter or mentally defective, it makes me have a very passionate rage for America and have contemplated joining terrorist cells because i have hated this country that much, i feel totally outcasted by everyone, by my friends, i have never had a physical relationship with a girl, ive never had a girlfriend, i feel that there is absolutely nobody or nothing in this culture that represents me or anyone like me, i feel totally alienated, i am diagnosed with schizo affective disorder have been diagnosed as bipolar take medicine for depression, but nothing seems to truly work

i feel like i cannot trust anyone i feel that the culture i live in is shrouded in lies, i look at people as evil sometimes i think i am an a realm of hell, i am highly disillusioned and dilusional, but i feel that certain aspects of people and things in this country are beyond arrogant and i am sometimes disgusted by women and men and look at them as almost creatures and animals and not even humans...

i could go on and on, but at 22 it just doesnt seem like anything will ever get any better, i strongly believe that this country outcasts certain people and forces them into a corner or under a rug, as the "crazies", it makes me rage, and think about the reasons why people murder and i can understand them...

the media the country and the people leave nothing but a bad taste in my mouth i have past the last year in my house doing absolutely nothing and it feels like a week or two at most, i feel like im living in a time loop a false life, a robotic unfullfilled shitty life, perpetuated by stereotypes of people labeling me that i just have given up on this country, because it truly has failed me. So congratulations...

Answer 1

theres nothing wrong with hating the american culture, government or society or any other that goes so strongly against your personal beliefs and you would be foolish to trust a system so obviously shrouded in lies but that doesnt mean there arent normal people all over the world that you can connect with who arent a willing part of the systems that they are born into so much as just doing the best with what theyve been given, most people will just keep their heads down. I dont think theres anything wrong with not wanting to connect with or reach out to the "average" person, I myself can relate to Thoreau who lived alone by a lake and said he never found a companion like solitude but I do believe loneliness is a very bad thing and so if the "average" person doesnt appeal to you there will still be certain individuals you can relate to and connect with even if they are rare. It is best to find them so you can make each other happy.

Answer 2

I don't think your hatred should be targeted towards Americans alone. This could've happened anywhere in the world. I know because I can, to an extent, identify with you and I'm not American. I've also always been the outcast. I've been bullied for the past nine years of my life. I've also never had a boyfriend. I don't fit in with anyone - and it's not just a feeling; it's a fact. I don't even fit in with the so-called "losers".



But I just because a lot of people have been cruel to you, doesn't mean everyone's the same. Your hatred should not be towards all Americans. Hate the ones who did you wrong, if it makes you feel better. Just don't punish everyone.



I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. No one deserves to be treated that way. Just work on fixing yourself first before trying to fix others. Work on your issues and realize that just because others treat you like sh*t, doesn't mean that you are sh*t.



All the best.

Answer 3

I can really relate to your feelings of alienation and anger. This society disappoints me a lot, and I often feel misunderstood and ignored. I've been on anti-depressants before, and they help a bit, but they don't magically make me feel connected to other people.



All I can share with you is what has helped me: in the last couple of years I've decided just to accept myself the way I am. I'm a loner. This society makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't have a lot of friends and I don't go to parties and I like to spend a lot of time alone. But there isn't anything wrong with me as long as I'm okay with how I am and I'm not hurting anyone. So, I've dedicated myself to focusing on things I really enjoy: working on philosophy, reading good books, listening to great music, going to concerts by myself, going to the park and eating lunch by myself. It all makes me feel really happy, and it gets me out of my own head. It has taken a while, but I'm finally feeling good about myself, and I don't feel bad about being single. So I recommend finding some things you enjoy, things you want to learn about, and just pursue those. It could happen that you'll meet like-minded people along the way and want to connect with them, but I don't think that should be the main focus.



Terrorist cells and cults exploit people who are feeling lonely and angry, but they don't make things better. They fuel people's rage so that they can use it for their own political purposes. Don't let yourself be exploited like that.

Answer 4

Do you think you would have an easier time in western europe, or africa? Do you think that this hatred and paranoia towards "humans" is directed only at americans? then try moving. It sounds like you are having a hard time and need a friend or eight. Anyone but mom. GL

Answer 5

Say I am crazy. What can you say to me? What can you talk to me about? You are following what you think is an an orderly, organized life, and the craziness is alien to you. You don't see conflict as in you. You see conflict as external, outside, in others, separate to you. You might want to be kind, to be helpful, but what you mean is to manage and organize me. You deal with conflict as something external and something to control. You see conflict not in yourself, in the brain, but as an effort to cope with life as struggle, competition, and success. When the effort to cope with an externalised life is failing, not succeeding, as it inevitable does, then the brain that has always externalized conflict, has no understanding of how to cope with conflict.

Answer 6

read J. Krishnamurti's Meeting life you might get that validation your looking for

Answer 7

Go rogue. Join the army and say f*** the world.