Terminating my pregnancy! Please help.?

Question

My fiance and I are living together and we are faced with a dilemma. I was told by my doctor that I could not conceive without the aid of invitro. Well, apparently I was misinformed as I am now 6 weeks pregnant!!! My fiance and I are both in our mid twenties, and he has a great job working for a top company. I on the other hand am a student, and also work in finance. We make about $100K combined, but live in a demanding city where our paycheck is just enough to cover bills, rent, and food. We both know that we cannot keep this baby because we can't afford to, nor do we have the time to take care of it. I am scheduled for a termination of pregnancy (abortion) this week, and don't know what I should do. I have mixed feelings about it. Part of me wants to keep it, but the other part knows that we cannot afford to do so. We just aren't ready. I have heard stories of women who had abortions and regretted it, while others where relieved. Not sure what we should do. My family would be so upset if I keep it, and so will his! We are not financially able! We want to wait another 5-7 years. Giving it up for adoption is not an option, my partner does not want me to do that. We have to either end the pregnancy, or keep the baby.

Answer 1

Since you thought you could not get pregnant and did I would call that a miracle, not a mistake. People making less money then you can support a child, you may have to give up perks you are used to having, going out, doing things that cost money that you really didn't need to do.



I lost two children, my friend had an abortion and has never been able to have a child. This is a once in a lifetime question for you.



I write poetry from the side of what the baby may be thinking knowing it is going to die.



A Baby's Cry



Who are you to judge if I should live or die?

You snuff out my feeble cry

You say at conception I'm not alive

You say your body is your own

mine will never be known.

I'll tell you who I am so you will know

if I would have been allowed to live and grow

You would have loved me also

The first flicker of life my soul was given to me

by God not thee

You can cause the flesh to grow

God gave you the best you know

I would have been the best person you would know

My smile bright and eager to see

looking for you smiling back at me

My arms would have hugged you with so much love

the feeling would make you thank God above

I would have run as fast as I could

into your arms wherever you stood

I would hae been a bundle of joy

a girl or a boy

Now you will never know me

You will never know the person I was to be

For you chose to end my life so selfishly





I Weep for You



I weep for you

great tears that could fill an ocean

I weep for you

knowing at three weeks you have a heart

and at four a brain

I weep for you

for you must know when they

end your life

I weep for you

knowing the miracle it took for you to be

I weep for you

for not being given a chance

I weep for you

with tears streaming down my face

I weep for you

knowing your death is the result

of humanity's complete disgrace

Answer 2

First of all, you are both lucky to be making $100K combined in today's economy, when many people are losing their jobs. Even if you do live in a demanding city, I would venture to guess that you probably both waste and spend money needlessly instead of saving some of it.



You stated: "We both know that we cannot keep this baby because we can't afford to, nor do we have the time to take care of it." Perhaps you both should have thought of these two factors before you made the conscious decision to live together without being legally married, and to indulge in premarital sex. You both knowingly opened the door to your pregnancy, yet neither one of you wishes to be accountable to the child the two of you created together.



Frankly, I don't buy any of your excuses as to why you think you have to abort this innocent baby. You and your fiance's attitudes so perfectly illustrate one of the reasons why so many people, particularly Christians, are against abortion. You are both thinking this through in a completely irresponsible and immature manner. I am particularly appalled at the attitudes your families have conveyed to you.



You also stated: "We want to wait another 5-7 years." Once again, if this is the case, why did you allow yourself to be in a situation where you might become pregnant and not be able to wait?



Pretend that you are the unborn child. How would you like to be in your mother's womb, waiting to be born, hoping to do all kinds of wonderful things in this world, only to have it all destroyed by the very mother within whose shelter you find comfort?



My advice is to keep your baby and grow up. Maybe your child will teach both of you how to be responsible, caring human beings. If you do have this baby, I would suggest that you leave your selfishness and uncaring attitude behind you, and look forward to a new, exciting future with your husband and child.



One more thing: You posted your question to Yahoo! Answers for a reason. You named the reason yourself when you wrote: "I am scheduled for a termination of pregnancy (abortion) this week, and don't know what I should do. I have mixed feelings about it. Part of me wants to keep it, but the other part knows that we cannot afford to do so."



The part of you that wants to keep your child is the part you should trust. The other part is untrustworthy and shallow. There have been many parents living in dire poverty (which I am sure you are not) who still managed to raise healthy, happy children.



By the way, have you ever considered the possibility that the doctor who said that you "could not conceive without the aid of invitro" might have been right instead of wrong? What if he was right? That would mean that your pregnancy is a miracle! Consider the possibility that 5-7 years from now this miracle may not happen again, and, in fact, may not ever happen again!



Don't let your parents, your fiance's parents, your relatives or your friends, decide this very important matter for you. Your baby, waiting to be born, is a gift, and possible miracle, from God. Please accept this gift graciously, love your child with all of your heart, and you will surely be rewarded in a way that you don't now understand or expect, but this reward will not be in dollars and cents.

Answer 3

Hello,



I believe lack of money is not a good enough reason to end your pregnancy, on top of that, the judgment of others shouldn't have an effect on the decision you take.

This is something YOU are going to live with for the rest of your life. Once you have a baby there are many options to continue your studies nevertheless, and other people's judgment will quickly end when they see your little one.



They are no greater joys in life, and I personally believe that unless you were raped, or the baby has a problem, abortion shouldn't even be considered...



I speak not of experience, but as a witness to a friend and my own mother who fell pregnant at 40 ! Both considered aborting, my friend did, but my mum decided to keep what was to be my future baby sis! She doesn't regret one second having kept her baby. On the other hand, my friend cannot forgive herself...



I wish you all the best in your decision. Don't mind what the others say, listen to your heart.

Answer 4

Well, you may not like my answer, but it's given in good faith. What would the baby want? I mean, this isn't just an event happening to you - it's a life and death trial for some little human. It is your job, as parents, like it or not, to provide for the baby's well-being. Clearly being executed is not going to be the baby's first choice. Nor, I would guess, would be being born into a family that didn't want it. So why IS adoption not an option? Everyone wins - certainly the baby, who probably doesn't deserve to be executed until at LEAST becoming a teenager, which is when abortion should be legal, * smiles *, but also some childless couple who could and would love this child.



And you win. I've known six or seven women in my life who had abortions and were close enough to me to tell me about them and in whom I could see the effect. Every one of them had a scar like a chainsaw across their soul and at least one couldn't love properly anymore. They were disfigured with guilt.



We may call it a medical procedure, but imagine someone killing a newborn, say with a hammer. There is no more heinous crime - it's a capital crime - how can we possibly dodge the horror and guilt of that - well, the obvious answer is, we can't. Abortion ruins women, tho magazines tell them it's not so.



I'd vote for adoption, just as a practical matter. The practicality that it keeps you from feeling, perhaps appropriately (sorry to say) like you killed someone entrusted into your care - not even out of stupidity or carelessness - but out of convenience - deliberately and knowning what you were doing.



I don't know how you could be expected to ever carry that burden in life.



I'm not religious, but I think one of the biggest mistakes and dis-services we have ever done as a society is be so greedy for ourselves that we tell young women they can kill their babies and it's ok. Hey, while you're at it, here try some of this neat crack - it'll take your mind off things - oh, and it's ok too.



You know?



We can't blame those who have already been misguided - but I hope you don't become one more.

Answer 5

Killing a beautiful life for material conveniences? Where is love these days?

If sex is natural, pregnancy and childbirth are equally natural. And for the child it is certainly natural to be raised by a loving father and mother.



Nowadays some people, desiring material sense gratification but hoping to avoid the inconvenience of family life, try to enjoy "free" sexual relations, without the trouble of marriage. Through birth control and abortion they eliminate the disturbance of caring for children. In this way they hope to enjoy material sense gratification without any material impediment. But by the laws of nature, however, such persons become bound in a network of sinful reactions by avoiding their real duty and by thoughtlessly causing violence and suffering to others for increasing their own sense gratification.



Your child desires to take birth and be loved by you, make a sacrifice for your child, life is meant for that. Even a poor people can do that, why not you?

Answer 6

$100K and you can't afford a baby? And that's the best reason for termination you can come up with? We live in different worlds. Forgive me, I'm shocked. Good luck to you anyway. I hope you make the best decision you can and I hope it's your own decision and that you can stand by it in the future.

Answer 7

when you study abortion make sure whoever wrote the book, article, ect. is not making money off of abortion, people will tell blatant lies if they think it will make you get an a abortion and then they get money. you will never regret keeping the baby and they are nowhere near as expensive as some people think just be frugal. and quite frankly its noones buisness but yours and the fathers.

Answer 8

I think it would be worse to keep it and then regret that, but nobody else can tell you what to do, YOU have to make a decision. You sound pretty sure you want to end it, just nervous. I think it will be less scary than you imagine.

Answer 9

Im all about pro choice, but don't you think its kinda a miracle that you got pregnant when you are not supposed to be able to naturally. I feel like its a sign, maybe im just superstitious.

Answer 10

If you can't keep the baby for yourself, don't KILL it! Every human on earth atleast deserves a chance to live. Put it up for adoption. DO NOT TAKW ITS LIFE AWAY!

Answer 11

Im sorry but if your partner wants to get rid of the baby and you dont, he doesnt really love you. I say keep the baby, youll be happy you did.

Answer 12

I agree with 1st person, keep the baby





Have fun, take care

Answer 13

$100K seems not enough for you to keep the baby....??? I wonder what kind of lifestyle you have....

Answer 14

please keep the baby, everything will work out.