Why am I such a loser? This is long, so don't click if you dislike reading a lot...?

Question

I have no friends. I'm home schooled because I got anxiety from an experience in 3rd grade. I'm shy and not very social. I don't know how to talk to people and never start conversations. I'm such a loser, I even talk to myself a lot. My brother is shy too, but even he has friends and social. And he's 2 years younger than me. I don't wanna sound like I'm looking for attention, because I hate sounding or thinking I sound as if I'm trying to attract attention. I know all of these problems are nothing to be sad about, since there are people with WAY worse problems than this, but still, even thinking that doesn't make me feel that much better.

. I've also come to reality, and the type of a lot of people are. I wish I could be small again, and not care about what ANYONE thinks of me, and just walk in public without giving a d*mn about anything.

I also have this major crush on this girl, who lives in California though, and I live in Texas. She is a friend of Kylie Jenner..and I know this sounds SO absurd, and I'm being immature, but I really like her. I know there are a lot of other girls out there, but I don't know..I can't get her off of my mind. I've never even met her and I think this!

and I wanna start a business, or invent something, and then use the money so my family can move to California, and I can go to the same school as her. I know that is 99.9% not likely, but yeah.

my dream is to start a business, invent something, or become the CEO of some company(future), but still, I believe it's not likely to happen, but at the same time I believe it. I don't wanna spend the rest of my life working for someone else, like at WalMart or something.

I sometimes become depressed for no reason, and just wanna die, since with death, you have no worries whatsoever, but I don't have the heart to put my family in so much pain. I have been depressed for real though. Out of no where, I felt weird, and it kept getting worse and worse, to the point where the pain felt so real, I thought I'd always feel this way, since it'd be impossible to forget how strong it felt. I always kept it to myself, but my parents knew. I felt like crying out of no where, and didn't like getting up, since I'd be sad and just wanted to die. I thought of suicide a lot, but never told anyone.

that's over though, and I never wanna feel like that again.

I'm also very weird. I think it's since I don't have friends, other than my PS3 ones, and the kids at church, who I even don't really talk to. It's not that they avoid me, since they talk to me, but I always shy out like a little p*ssy, since they are the type of people that like sports, wear snap back hats and stuff, but well, I'm not that type of person.

I'm very philosophical I think. I asked a question about this, and someone told me I have a very inquisitive mind. I also lie history, linguistics, astronomy, mysteries and the unknown A LOT. But no one I know likes that type of stuff, other than my 10 year old cousin, who I barely even see. I love learning, but still...I don't know.

life is so weird and just...don't know how to describe it. I know I can change it anytime I want, but it's hard.

I feel like a freaking loser. People always try to socialize with me, but I always ted to push away I think. I get compliments and stuff, like I'm smart, or my hair looks so good, but still.

and whenever I'm happy about something..ALWAYS....it only lasts for about 30 seconds, then I'm just not happy about it anymore.

Answer 1

Hey, sweetie, you don't sound weird to me. You sound like a conflicted young person who is confused about life in general. Many people get sad for no reason. Kudos for pulling yourself out of the funk! Nobody needs to commit suicide, unless you have a terminal disease. My younger sister killed herself; you are right, you do not want your family to suffer that way. You sound as if you might be gifted, which might explain your lack of social ties. Many people who are gifted have difficulties when they are young with friendships because young people have a tendency to scorn those who do not conform, which leaves you confused and isolated. I know that this doesn't help much now, but when you get a little older, you will feel so much better about yourself. Being young is romanticized in our culture; it does not receive credit for the difficulties that are associated with youth, such as self-discovery and self-acceptance. I do not think you are weird; I do think you are intelligent and thoughtful. Hang in there. It will get better.

Answer 2

I wouldn't worry. You feel like a loser now? You're gonna be an awesome person that people will be proud to know, I can tell you that because I like(d) those same things, and felt the exact same way, and now people ask me for advice daily. Probably because the combination of those things you've listed here as interests results in a well informed rational mind But that can only happen if you accept your own nature. You're different because you absorb information better than most, you've got use that otherwise you start searching for answers inside yourself, but the answers aren't there yet. You have to read the books (or listen to audiobooks) and ask people how their day went or if they look stressed, ask what the problem is. Simple fact is, you're an engaging person who listens and that's what people need. And in helping others with their life questions, you will simultaneously answer your own.



Moments of happiness are fleeting...but if you do this stuff it becomes the reason to live. To pursue happiness, not just for yourself, but for everyone who wants you around.



You could do great things and achieve your goal in life, but even if you don't...It won't matter, because you will know you gave it your best.

Answer 3

I feel the same, I have three good friends where I say almost everything to, but I don't see them much. One of them betrayed me, she said one of my secrets to another person, so I don't tell her no more secrets. The other two are far away and they listen but they can't be really there for me. I have only my boyfriend to make me feel like i'm worth something, but mostly I get angry because I feel like I'm ugly even if he compliment me, and not good enough for him because he is such a sweety and there is a small chance my country will decide to send him back to his country. I don't want to lose him, he is mine. The tought of that makes me feel lonely and depressed. Nobody will catch me if this happens my family isn't easy. I eat a lot, can't sleep. Sometimes I feel like if I am off this world they are better without me, because I feel like nobody is going to miss me anyway But then I remember, if i get off this life, then it doesn't get better then this. If i continue to make something out of it, then it maybe will turn around. I am overthinking and i'm also happy for a little amount of minutes because I feel like a loser. What have I done full my life? School isn't good, studentwork isn't good. But God will help me, I believe so. If my path is so dark and so long and so lonely, maybe I have an higher calling and should find it. i should remember He is beside me, it's allright if I have not the people I need in life, just I should remember Him, honor Him, talk to Him.If you can talk to God and say your problems to Him, he will answer, i'm sure, if not now then later. If you can talk to Him, you can try to talk to other people also. Bit by bit you build it up. If you fall, then you should stand up. its not your fault, I bet you are a great person. You know, If I pray, then I feel better. We should have faith in Him. God has three answers to our prayers: 1. Yes 2. Not yet 3. I have something better in mind



Besides, your problem is as great as any other problem. We all fight our inner dragons/devils, some are bigger then the other, but we are all fighting. Be a dragonslayer! You should try! And learning is always good, don't be ashamed about it. Even if your dreams are big, you should shase them, if you can dream it, you can do it aswell.All is well, all is well! Its better to have tried to fullfill your dreams then give up because its unlikely. Regrets are allways too late. Love is never absurd, try bit by bit, maybe online, words who are written are easier to say then spoken.



The world is for the dreamers, the believers. “A dream is the bearer of a new possibility, the enlarged horizon, the great hope.” Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive. You know what makes you come alive, go do that! I believe in you and me! xoxo Good luck!

Answer 4

Just Chant 'Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare'

and see the result

Go to the Nearest ISKCON temple weekly bases

Hear Lecture

and see the result

i swear result oriented process

Answer 5

Nerd

Answer 6

I used to be shy. Now I give my email to total strangers if they need help: [e-mail] email me. If you do I'll prob give you my number cuz I can't give THAT in public. Anyway I can help you. :)



P.S. I live in Tennessee, but strangely don't have an accent... Maybe because my parents came from New York...

Answer 7

I'm kind of going down this path right now with feeling lonely, anti social, and suicidal. I'm not afraid of death I'm just afraid of what happens after. But anyway I've learned that suicide is never the choice. No matter how hard it gets. Yes you don't have to worry and everything's painless but what about your family. What about your younger brother? When you die do you think they're not going to miss you for one second? He can grow up and self harm or be depressed. He's going to feel guilty because he couldn't have done something. It's not a bad thing to be shy. I feel like a loser a lot. I think a lot of people do. It's human. Everything we do is. Our feelings, our minds, and our actions are. Everyone has hopes and dreams. Not all successfully achieved but they do find success in it. I have bad anxiety. I'm afraid to go on walks anymore because I'm scared that people are watching me while I walk and they're waiting for me to mess up so I just suddenly forget how to walk and look like an idiot. I'm not very smart. I use to be but then I tried to fit in and I met some good friends. The worse part of it all is they said they'd be there for me but they already left. I've turned from being happy, outgoing, and social to this girl who stays up til 6:00 am because I'm so sad. Doesn't go outside because I'm afraid of people. Doesn't talk to anyone because I feel like a bother. Has bad self esteem issues because some boys in the hall and girls on the iternet called me ugly or fat. I started to believe it and ended up making myself throw up and I starved myself. I self harm now and part of me wants someone to see them and help me but then part of me wants to hide it. Listening to music helps me. Talking to a family member or a friend helps. Just venting about everything helps more than you can imagine. I can't guarntee things get better because I try and say that to myself but its hard believing it but you have to be hopeful. You might not be happy today or tomorrow but someone will love you for you. Whether your shy and anti social people will find beauty in everything. I find beauty in the weirdest things. A lot of people hate screaming music and I did once to but my inspiration is Austin Carlile (lead singer of Of mice and men.) he's amazing. I'm not the biggest fan of his yelling but I find beauty in it. His story is what has me striving. Just go outside and do something you love. Try and make friends. Surround yourself with people who love you even when you hit rock bottom. They're there to bring you back up. If you ever need someone to vent to my kik is: bella4life